i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
