It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
