Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
