Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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