Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she told me i tasted like america
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Randomize
