Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
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