I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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