i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sext me about skeletons
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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