not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
