he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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