just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
