ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
