5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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