I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
