we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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