Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
