too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
