But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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