never play flip cup with pint glasses
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
