Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
