I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
