Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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