He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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