apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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