im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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