YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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