my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This is my gift to your gina
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
