I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
smell my finger.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
