He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
