yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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