does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
