he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
