Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
