So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
