totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
