Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
