It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
