I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
