She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
