can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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