i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
