ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
