Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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