yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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