Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
