You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
