Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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