The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
