What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
