she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
