OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
