Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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