I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
