How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
