White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
